Walt: Punctuate our work
Original Version
Once upon a time there was a girl who lived with her pet dragon. She was a very young girl who was jealous of everyone who had parents. She was only jealous because she never had parents. No one ever knew why she was always jealous of them and their parents until one day a boy came to her home because he saw something strange about her. The thing he saw strange about the girl was that she had never ever had parents in her life but she might been jealous about other children with parents so she could go ask other people if she can live with them. “Hello Sir. May I live with u I have no parents I had no parents ever in my life” Ugh Sure I guess.My dragon love to play with people so you will make good friends with well hopefully you can sleep in the guest room so sit down there is food there if you are angry so make yourself at home, one of the things she likes to do is crafting things and her favorite is art. One day she decided to leave the house to play with her dragon and she went into the forest with her dragon then they started exploring. They both saw two figures deep in the wild and noisy forest so they ran over there and the girl looked at the two figure they looked normal and somehow familiar she realized it was her parents.
Edited version
Once upon a time there was a girl who lived with her pet dragon. She was a very young girl who was jealous of everyone who had parents. She was only jealous because she never had parents. No one ever knew why she was always jealous of them until... one day a boy came to her home because he saw something strange about her. He saw that she never had walked around with parents. The boy spied on her every day and one day he saw her go to a house. When she got there she said “Hello Sir May I live with you I have no parents and no siblings either” “Uh Sure I guess” the man said hesitatingly “what is your name” she said “ it's Simon” he said. My dragon loves to play with people so you will make good friends with him. “Do you have a guest room?” “yes actually we do” “Can I sleep in there” “sure” he said sit down, there is food there if you are hungry ok” “Yep!!!” she said happily. One of her favorite thing to do is to paint. She was so happy there. One day she decided to leave the house to play with her dragon the ball her and her dragon were playing with went into the forest. She went to get it and when she did she saw something weird and she started exploring the forest. They both saw two figures deep in the wild and noisy forest so they ran away but she felt bad because they might need help. When she got closer she saw 2 human faces it was a woman and a man. She could swear that she had seen these faces before. She had a closer look, then remembered something. It was that when she was born she remembered what her parents looked like. “Could it be” she said starting to tear up “Could it be my parents” The two people came closer and when they saw her face they ran up to her and hugged her. “ Mum, Dad” “Yes it's us were not going anywhere”. She got back home and told Simon that she had found her parents. He didn’t want to let her go but he knew that she wanted to live with her real parents. 1 year later she lived happy with her parents and she still got to visit Simon and she was no longer jealous of other families. She lived a very happy life with her parents.
Task Description: We played a game called 'Pass the Story'. We would write a little bit of the story, and then pass it to the person next to us. They would then continue on the story. After the story was finished, we edited it to make sure it was punctuated it properly.
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